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    10/17/2009

    发现一道理

     
    RBCS中文课的第一天 这回都是米国小p孩了 k到5年级 三个班 不同年龄段 学校却给我一样的教材 备课备得我很痛苦。。发现人生中最可爱的年龄段是8到10岁 比小一点的孩子懂事 比大一点都孩子单纯 不会突然钻到桌子底下 不会问“美国人伸middle finger 中国人是不是用pinky finger来代表同样的意思”之类的问题。。。
    恩。。退下继续备课去啦。。明天还要对付1个k  1个pre-k  6个8年级 3个9年级的孩子~~~
     
    10/15/2009

    new moon看点出现啦!!!!!

    最先出现的那五只狼Red heartRed heartRed heartRed heartRed heart 。。看这眼神。。呀呀呀。。据说都是印第安人。。
     
    中间那个就是sam吧。。真有范儿。。大眼睛这位Kiowa Gordon 演embry。。19岁。。。又萝莉控了我。。。哇哇
     
    再来一张shirtless的。。
     
    继续砰砰砰~~~~Red heartRed heartRed heart
    10/7/2009

    迟到的报到

    好吧 在韩妈妈的提醒下 我也意识到太久没做报告了~~
    从5月放假到现在 其实主题就是打工 找工作 现在加上个准备毕业考试
     
    暑假
    曾经同时干过两个工作 包括周末 一边在特许学校教一个chinese program 一边继续student worker的工作 八点出门八点到家 精疲力尽了回家还有其他事情处理 还要准备第二天的课
    如果不算备课时间的话 一周工作63个小时左右 比去年暑假一周66个小时的餐馆工作累多了(不过也比较rewarding。。干一个月能顶餐馆的两个月)。。更重要的是 我发现自己太喜欢在学校工作的感觉了 现在超级想去弄个教师证!谁给我张绿卡吧~~我想考证~~~
    趁我还记得 记录几件班里的趣事吧
    1. 上文化课介绍李白的时候 我说李白结过四次婚 j同学问 那李白是怎么死的 是不是得hiv死的?(这是一群很八卦的孩子 他们不想知道李白喜欢写什么样的诗 而对李白的儿子是干什么的之类的问题很感兴趣。。给我的备课增加了严重的负担。。)
    2. m同学说唐人街的ming river餐馆是他们家开的 然后在唐人街做field trip的时候我号召大家去ming river向m的妈妈说hello。。大家都进去了 唯独m留在门外。。说那不是他们家的。。
    3. e同学说我sing like a rock star
    4. 大家说我像 听妈妈的话 music video里面演妈妈的那个人 为了求证还反复看那几个镜头。。(虚荣心得到极大满足啊。。)
    5. 有些小孩也讨厌日本人 而且知道为什么(我们班都是三四五年级的ABC)
    6. a同学说我结婚的时候要给他们打电话 因为他们是我的first students
    7. 讲double identity的时候 k同学模仿黑人说话 超级像。。hey man~~~
    8. 我怀疑j同学喜欢上ay同学了
    9. a同学是一个问很多问题 喜欢看书 学习认真努力 什么事都要尽力做到最好 梦想是当一个好学生 有点小害羞的孩子 (我yy中的儿子就是这样的!!!)
    10. ju的弟弟c是那么多孩子里最q的 在幼儿园班 在我不断地挑逗之下只和我说过一个字 chips。。其他时间不是点头摇头就是微笑。。(a和c组合无敌!!!a和我一样超喜欢挑逗c)
    11.。。。。
     
    现在
    现在继续为生计奔波着 纽约费城面试来来回回 也没给我个工作!星期一到星期五继续当个student worker。。星期六星期天教中文。。这就有四个活干了。。继续累着吧 还要准备毕业考试。。现在也已经开始弄米国代购了 恩恩 我也是个老板了。。
    还想给自己放个假。不过找不到理由。。。
     
    思想报告就没啦 一片空白的说 也不看书了 除了眼前这些事 其他都不想了 想了也白想 恩。。
     
    9/16/2009

    费城要真成philthidelphia和uglidelphia了

    啊啊啊。。。涨我学费我忍。。关图书馆 不剪草 不收垃圾 让警察叔叔下岗算啥。。看看那些靠政府救济的懒惰小黑们 他们才在浪费纳税人的钱。。

    The Nutter administration released this list of potential cuts should it be forced to implement is "Plan C" budget:


    Streets

    Budget Reduction: $14.4 million
    Positions Eliminated: 300
    Impact:

    • Trash pickup reduced to twice monthly
    • Stop mechanical cleaning and special event cleaning
    • City-owned litter baskets removed
    • Switch 1,000 traffic signals to flash
    • Remove bulbs from 4,000 street lights for arterial roadways
    • Stop alley light repairs
    • Reduce maintenance of street lights

       
    By Early September:

    • Identify light bulbs to be removed and inform neighborhoods impacted
    • Notify citizens of reduced trash collection schedule
    • Identify traffic signals to be switched to flash


    Libraries

    Budget Reduction: $29.6 million
    Positions Eliminated: 490
    Impact:

    • All 53 branch and Central Libraries cease operations including the following:
    • LEAP after school program for 80,000 children and teens
    • 150 Books Aloud! programs
    • Partnerships with schools including librarian visits, Reading Olympics, Philadelphia scholarship program
    • 15 Teen Author Series programs
    • 27 Adult education programs presented by literacy organizations
    • Summer Reading for 55,000 children, teens and adults
    • Free computer classes
    • 40 teen programs
    • 10 Small business programs
    • Sundays on Stage
    • 135 Author Events
    • One Book, One Philadelphia
    • Free Library Festival

    Grant Programs including:

    • IMLS Growing Our Own Student Librarians
    • GlaxoSmithKline Science in the summer – 47 sessions, 1,400 youth participating
    • Claneil Books Aloud with PHA Sites
    • PNC Books Aloud with Head Starts and libraries
    • Merck science programs with LEAP
    • LSTA College and Career Prep with LEAP and at 5 branches across city
    • IMLS Media Mash Up national project

    By Early September:

    • Stop 3 week book renewals
    • Cancel special collection loans and retrieve outside loans
    • Cancel Fall Author Series and all special programming for Fall
    • Begin to notify program providers, volunteers (including court-ordered volunteers) outside organizations using meeting spaces, special event and series’ sponsors, interns, work-study participants, parents, schools and others that all library functions cease October 2


         
    Recreation

    Budget Reduction: $30.8 million
    Positions Eliminated: 520
    Impact:

    • All 160 Recreation facilities and programs cease operation including:
    • 96 After School programs serving 3000 children
    • 13 Teen Centers serving 1100 teens
    • 34 Tot –Recreation programs serving 1200 young children
    • 6 Older Centers serving 180,000 meals for seniors and programs/activities
    • Maintenance to 73 Parks
    • Sports for 500 community groups using facilities
    • 30 Sports programs serving 45,000 people
    • 66 programs with public schools
    • 110 programs with Catholic Youth Organization
    • 262 baseball fields, 224 basket ball courts, 161 tennis courts, 142 sports fields, 120 school gyms, 56 other gyms


    By Early September:

    • Prepare notification for parents with children in pre-school program suggesting they consider finding alternative day care services for their children
    • Prepare notification for parents with children in after school programs suggesting they consider finding alternative after school care


    Fairmount Park

    Budget Reduction: $11 million
    Positions Eliminated: 140
    Impact:

    • Operations cease throughout the system of 63 neighborhood parks, 115 athletic fields, 469 buildings and 13 fountains
    • No grass-cutting
    • No maintenance of restroom facilities
    • No maintenance of ball fields or trails
    • No trash removal
    • Limited tree removal
    • Horticulture Center and Lloyd Hall close to public
    • Permit holders for events may use permitted area but no services (electricity, cleanup, plumbing, security) provided


    By Early September

    • Notify organizations with permits for special events from October until the end of the year (such as Dragon Boat Festival, Columbus Day Parade, AIDS Walk) that necessary services may not be available
    • Notify all organizations with meetings, events in Horticulture Center and Lloyd Hall of possible cancellations
    • Notify 136 athletic and youth organizations with field permits of potential disruption including Wissahickon AA and St. Joseph’s Prep


    Police

    Budget Reduction: $43.9 million
    Positions Eliminated: 972
    Impact:

    • Lack of police presence will be felt all across the City.  Support for  various Specialized Districts and further erosion of the remaining specialized Response Units (Strike Force, Traffic Unit, and the Neighborhood Services Unit) will severely hamper crime fighting.
    • Cuts to Anti-violence and anti-drug units, schools resource officers and community relations officers – combined to the massive cuts to services across the city – will only further damage the ability to provide public safety.


    Fire

    Budget Reduction: $16.7 million
    Positions Eliminated: 36 officer, 120 firefighter and 40 paramedic positions
    Impact:

    • Deactivation of up to Six Engine Companies, Three Ladder Companies, Five Advanced Life Support Medic Units, affecting neighborhoods across the City. 
    • This is just the tip of the devastation the failure of HB 1828 would have in Public Safety. 

    Health

    Budget Reduction: $4.7 million
    Positions Eliminated: 112
    Impact:

    • Two of the City’s Eight Health Centers will cease operations at a time when visits to the centers has increased by 5% in the last year
    • Wait times will increase by 25% at all 6 remaining health centers
    • Delay treatments for neonatal care, family planning, dental care, immunizations, diabetes, and vaccinations for H1N1


    City Planning, Commerce and Historical Commission

    Budget Reduction: $5.7 million
    Positions Eliminated: 59
    Impact:

    • The City will no longer be able to issue permits needed for the majority of construction or renovation projects in Philadelphia.
    • The City will eliminate all tax credits for job creation and business expansion.
    9/15/2009

    我需要大家的两分钱。。

    话说某天 某女 在某地 因为某个神不知鬼不觉的原因 在某个诡异的时刻 失手摔死了她心爱的本本 死相及其惊怂 屏幕碎了 硬盘停了 键盘松动 光驱蹦出。。还有几个灯能闪。。死不瞑目阿~~~
     
    悲痛欲绝而又喜新厌旧的某女正处于更痛苦的抉择期 麻烦好心人对她的以下想法提提意见

    1。不惜重金 让旧本本起死回生 目前已知屏幕 硬盘需要更换 维修价格------未知。。米国人工费贵的说。。。不过可以先花45刀让人查一下需要维修的全部部件。。。

    2。 买新本本 希望购得一台就算被摔也安然无恙的新宠 目前看上一款传说叫thinkpad t400的 虽然价格比国内类似配置的便宜大概五分之二除此吸引某女的优点外(或者是个缺点) 还有散热好 键盘也长得好 据说硬盘保护也不错 但是可支配资金有限 百般犹豫中。。调查研究中还发现一句名言 “你的第一台电脑也许不是ThinkPad,但你的第二台应该是” 算上台式机的话 某女这马上就第三台了。。

    3。 买比t400便宜很多的本本 类似配置 性能差些 但某女向来爱贪大便宜 怎么办 怎么办

    某女不买日货 苹果 惠普。。大家快做选择题 另加补充。。。。认真答题者可获得遗体观瞻机会~~~~
    9/9/2009

    edible arrangements

     
    someone please send me one of these for national day, mid autumn day, thanksgiving, christmas, new year, my birthday or whatever!!!!! I won't eat them i promise, because i dont know how!
     
    9/3/2009

    我恨小黑

     
    转一篇刚刚看到的文章。。中国小孩在学校被欺负。。很痛心很愤怒。。难道所谓的empowerment永远只是个理想吗。。文章里没说是小黑干的 但八成就是了吧 看似小黑很团结。。哪天30个中国学生围攻5个小黑 咱就翻身了。。
     
     

    Wei Chen sits at the table, opens his backpack and unloads folders full of paperwork documenting alleged abuses against Asian immigrant students at South Philly High.

    “Sometimes it’s the same student in many fights,” says Chen, pointing to a day planner that is full of Chinese writing, listing the troubles of each particular day.

    “Some kids get picked on a lot.”


    Dozens of the alleged incidents are relatively minor—name-calling, verbal threats, petty robberies, random punches in the head while walking down stairwells, and general intimidation. But according to Chen, at least six times last school year those minor incidents escalated into massive rumbles where outnumbered Asian students were pummeled by packs of teens, sending several of the victims to hospitals. Like the day last October when a group of around 30 kids allegedly attacked five Chinese students after school in the Snyder Avenue subway station, one block from school. That incident started when a black student walked up to a Chinese kid in the cafeteria, touched his hair and allegedly threw a carton of milk at him. Rumors of threats filtered through the school on the day after the subway rumble, and the notion of continued violence froze Asian students. 


    “That day, all the Chinese students were very scared,” says Chen, an 18-year old senior who formed the South Philadelphia High School Chinese-American Student Association in the days after the alleged subway attack. “Students avoided the lunch room. They were scared to walk home. They stayed in the ESOL (English for Speakers of Other Languages) department until their parents picked them up.”

    Many Asian students continued living in fear for the remainder of the school year, even after one of the alleged subway assailants was identified on SEPTA cameras and transferred to another school. In a cry for help, scared students signed petitions, wrote letters, held meetings, staged a walkout and pleaded with school administrators to do something about the attacks.


    But the violence at South Philly High, listed among the state’s “persistently dangerous schools” for the third consecutive year, continued.


    The litany of abuses isn’t limited to South Philly High. Male and female Asian students—especially those new to the country, who speak little or fractured English—have been targeted over the past few years, in schools from the Northeast to South Philly, in elementary and high schools. Students and activists say that Chinese, Vietnamese, Cambodian, Pakistani and other Asian youth have been singled out, assaulted in cafeterias, hallways, on city streets, school buses and everywhere in between. 


    Kids say the violence has often been dismissed by school safety officers as well as administrators. “This is a cultural problem,” Wei Chen claims the former principal at South Philly told Asian students on the day after the subway rumble.


    District officials acknowledge that some situations weren’t handled well, leaving many students feeling abandoned.


    “There’s a lot of mistrust,” says comprehensive high school regional superintendent Michael Silverman. The impact of the violence on such vulnerable populations can have a major impact on their lives, activists say.


    “We’ve heard of students not going to school—as young as 8th and 9th graders,” says Khin Mai Aung, a staff attorney with the Asian American Legal Defense and Education Fund (AALDEF). 


    “Some kids drop out. Others just become less involved and perform poorly. They can’t learn when they don’t feel safe.”


    Where administrators or the School District intervened, improvements in student relations improved and the violence decreased—the number of overall violence in the district decreased by 17 percent last school year. But the culture of violence against Asian immigrants has existed for so long at some public schools that students almost accept that random beat downs are a part of life.


    During the weeks prior to the subway rumble, there were numerous confrontations at South Philly High, according to student incident reports.


    Eight students emptied the pockets and school bag of a Chinese student in the bathroom on Sept. 9, five days into the school year. The next day, Asian students were bombarded with oranges in the cafeteria. Several other students were robbed that month, or beat up. One Chinese student was punched in the left eye while walking through a hallway on Oct. 6. Another student was jumped in a stairwell the following day. During the week before the subway rumble, a Vietnamese student and his friend were jumped by 10 students, on several consecutive days, while walking home from school.


    “They don’t even know you,” says Chen, who barely spoke English when he emigrated from China to Philadelphia in January 2007. “They just hit because you’re Asian.”


    By Oct. 8, two days after the subway rumble, the Asian students were fed up. Nearly 70 students signed a petition demanding the school take action. They presented the petition to teachers and the principal. Then the Asian students walked out of school.


    “We didn’t think that day would be safe,” explains Chen. The students were marked absent. No new safety measures were added. One month later, Asian students were jumped in the ESOL classroom.


    “If Chinese students don’t go to school, it’s a big problem—they don’t learn,” says Xu Lin, a Philadelphia Chinatown Development Corporation staffer who mentors Asian teens. “But it’s a bigger problem if they go to school and get beat up.”


    Lin, 24, understands the situation. He and three immigrant friends were jumped by 15 kids outside Furness High School in 2001. Two of his friends were hospitalized as a result. It was Lin’s first day of school in America.

    9/1/2009

    不要相信windows live

     
    组织 我回来了!!!!!撒花~~~~还有谁还在玩失踪 赶紧出来大吼几声。。恩。。本座发的召集令 阿猫阿兔们快现身 不然就要升级为通缉令了。。。
    昨天难得决定更新 发了很多感叹加感慨加感伤 没完工 于是按了下"save as draft"。。今天到处找draft 也不知道save到哪了。。windows live是大好人 再次保护了组织的纯洁性 过滤了本座试图造成的污染。。
    总结下失踪的那篇日志的精神。。骂自己 骂别人。。第一个 骂  贬词褒用 第二个 骂 贬词扁用。。还涉及了两种人 一只乌鸦和一棵大树 乌鸦想在大树上唱歌 大树也想给乌鸦当舞台 乌鸦有比大树更高的理想 大树想在世界的另一头扎根 大树喜欢抒发小情小调 会为别人不经意说出的话而计较 希望每一片枝叶能触及到空气中的每一种成分 乌鸦说那是无病呻吟 说当你努力去承担更广阔的天空时 那些的小细节都是不值一提的 于是大树还是大树 乌鸦还是乌鸦。。于是大树开始反省 开始骂自己 (没骂乌鸦)。。没反省完就被windows live给save没了。。
    大树还没反省出个结果。。所以先报告到这吧。。。
     
     
     
    7/22/2009

    我疯了

    我这三天疯了 不断地刷邮箱 醒着的时候有一半的时间都在刷 没心思干其他任何事了
    娘的 那封邮件赶紧来吧 本座受不了了 就算让我死 也来个干脆的吧
    娘的
    娘的
    娘的
    娘的
    娘的
    娘的
     
    7/4/2009

    王室和小丑

     
    好吧 今年快女是我看过最怪诞最娱乐最商业的选秀节目 估计不管是收视率还是比赛结果 让台里d里各位领导都出奇离奇地满意 不知道会有几个观众抱着和我一样的心态(我很贱) 忍不住不看 看这群小丑怎么舔别人屁股 舔完后再用某排泄物擦自己的嘴巴 而且越擦越上瘾 越上瘾越引以为豪 最后把此排泄物当作神灵来膜拜。。同时还看着可怜的小兵小卒们怎么在名利强权里被摆弄 最后抱个最佳群众演员奖回家。。好吧 如果有人看得胃口不适 欢迎使用臭鸡蛋。。这次我真的很气愤。。一直没搞懂各位评委的标准 或者说 他们还有标准没。。有的吧 比的是实力 只不过不是歌唱实力而已。。这次我也很欣慰。。因为我发现我还算是个有人格的人。。
     
    小丑们为什么要当伪小人?小丑一您也太伯乐了 听了那几首旋律单一且类似 发音含糊的歌也能断定某某是10多年来最有才华的创作者 管没逻辑的歌词叫奇特可以理解 但没必要送个那么大的帽子吧。。您也说某唱功不行 如果我的审美观没问题的话 那声音在现场听的话已经够吓人了 那您怎么说自己听着听着就被感动了呢 再美的歌用错误的方式诠释 怎么也感动不了人吧。。说这是比唱歌的比赛 那为什么某人还在 还进了10强
    小丑二您说话时到底经过大脑没 这样的逻辑水平怎么当上总编的 舔了不少人的屁股吧这辈子。。什么叫支持不完美 除曾神外还有很多人也不完美 你怎么不支持。。。为什么把票投给某人的原因是曾神还需要磨练 而另外一位选手已经很厉害了。。说要花20秒时间讲个小故事最后却花了40秒。。还有时间概念没。。想掩饰却没大脑的话还是闭嘴吧 不然嘴巴越擦越脏。。
     
    好吧 我完全没有针对曾神的意思 也不讨厌她 我气的是那些拜神的人 更气站在背后掠走膜拜者灵魂的那些黑手 气的是道德防线的崩溃
    周国平说 人是一个被废黜的国王 被废黜的是人的灵魂
    我想知道 没了灵魂 剩下的躯壳里流淌着的贵族血液要流向何方 公主王子们为什么要当小丑 难道那些黑手真的无法躲避吗。。。
     
    ps 两年前的今天 我们大学毕业。。
    6/18/2009

    shinedown & alanna massey--second chance

     
    second chance by shinedown
    不贴视频了 怕卡。。在这汇报是要恭喜自己看了这个music video。。两个重大发现
    1. brent smith。。这个frontman的声音不知道怎么形容 但正是本座此刻最候需要的。deja vu。。什么three days grace..sugarcult...quietdrive。。这些男宠怎么瞬间变得这么气短。。
    2. alanna massey。。第一个让本座心动的music video女主角。。以古典美女的形象出现。。还跳芭蕾。。再配上brent野兽般的声音。。可恨的导演特写时基本都是给侧脸。。网上使劲找她的pp来yy。。未遂。。
     
    "sometimes goodbye is a second chance."
     
    6/9/2009

    so i dont know why i would think this way

     

    all right...so...i was taught another lesson that life for chrissake is a curve...a strikingly extravagant display of an infinite number of vomity-looking bell curves that come one after another, marching along the ups and downs with all its smoothness and elegance and yet leaving the person crawling, stumbling, falling and seizuring on it...a magnificent edifice vs a constructor hedious like h...what a perfect match...

    sorry that this travailleuse fell for it again and became so empty, so blank, so tasteless...the void between the two curves seems to grow bigger and bigger that she found the next curve was getting harder and harder to reach..you know what the girl would do before being abadoned by her curve...she will make a huge leap with all her strength accumulated on the current downslope and go on with her due trajectory on the next curve...dancing her dances..dreaming her dreams...with whatever feeling she is blessed with...

    downslopes only make you stronger if they don't beat you.

    6/1/2009

    怎么活

     
    太残忍了 第五季就这么没了 还要再等超过半年的时间 而且就剩一季了!怎么活。。怎么活。。怎么活。。abc怎么这么坏
     
    上上周开始看glee 有点失望 不过还是在等第二集。。。大家快告诉我还有啥好看的。。不要说那些和医院有关的。。现在和医院暂时隔离。。
    5/30/2009

    我的小总结

    刚才在校内上写了个小报告。。贴过来吧。。恩。我又回校内了。。

    我来米国21个月零12天 上完了10门硕士课程 gpa 3.57 惭愧地说 我不是爱学习的孩子 早就没了当初准备gre笔考时那两个月对我来说已空前绝后的毅力 现在还有最后一门考试 在11月份 考完后就是master suhua了。。好吧 我承认我是故意拖这么久的 今年3月份的考试 虽然时间紧张点 但还是能考的

     鸭腩王说道 米国是天堂也是地狱 我试着在这21个多月的足迹里找到答案 然后再次发现 这地方是天堂里的地狱 恩恩 地狱里的日子虽不惊心动魄 但也悲壮 时不时地偷窥到天堂的天堂里折射过来的光芒 也时不时地被这光芒刺痛 然后我继续走动着 虽然很多时候还是那么消极

     地狱之所以在天堂 是因为你有权利选择用地狱的方式感受天堂(请注意 我说的是 感受 比yy还是高级的)或者用天堂的方式在地狱里堕落 天堂总是向你发出召唤的信号 要命的是 你不知道这是错觉还是对觉 然后你上路了 总能满载而归 不同的是 有时载誉 有时载伤

     有人说我不是来米国上学的 说实话 还真不是 研究生一般都上三门课 所以在temple 一周上三次课 一次两个半小时 一共7.5小时 有两个学期我就上两门课 剩下那么多时间干啥呢 如果我说有一半的时候我都在学习 了解我的人都该喷了。。。我乱七八糟地什么都干 我什么都想干 我还想在米国干更多的事 特别是那些在国内不会干的事 我就是憎恨自己闲着

    总结下研究生课程的精髓:你可以忽悠 但是要有证据 特别是数据 米国人数学不好 什么却都讲数据 我也成数据人了。。。目前为止 在米国 我

     在律师楼打黑工 office assistant 8个月 2007年9月到2008年4月

    在中日餐馆 接电话 服务员啥的 全职 3个半月 2008年5月到8月底

    在学校宿管办公室打工 office assistant 2008年10月至今

    在中餐外卖餐馆兼职接电话 1个月 2009年1月

    当了三个学期的志愿者 在a senior center, a community learning center, an intensive english program at temple 教英文

    在东部游山玩水 纽约 波士顿 华盛顿 巴尔蒂摩等。。。现在将目标锁定北部和中部

    看了比本科四年还多的书 说的不是教科书 我讨厌教科书

    记忆里哭了两次 一次因为一辆公交 一次因为一个人 (后记  又记起两次 一次因为一首歌 一次因为一部电影)

    终于看了小时候一直向往的现场nba。。火箭和76人。。今年年底肯定要看次科比!

    还有啥 还有啥。。。其他省略。。。

    好吧 本着尽量独立的原则 我干了些事 也赚了些钱 但我一直是穷人 没有存款的穷人 都吃喝玩乐 交学费去了 想当初还信誓旦旦地说要攒老公本。。。所以说自费留学到底需要多少钱。。我真的不知道。。但我没花父母多少钱 我拿着21个月前他们给我的1万2美元混到现在。。有个重要原因是我不用交房租 恩恩 这个学期学校还给了我5000多刀。。经济独立是多么可贵的自由呀。。不然怎么敢这么逍遥自在。。现在的目标是在离开米国前把这1万2还了。。只是想证明我在努力。。也减轻点精神压力。。镀金成本低 就业门槛也可以低点吧。。恩恩 我果然是多灾多难的一代。。

    好了 这可能是我写过最长的日志了 现在开始报告现状 

    现在超级不想看书 才200页的一本小说集看快三周了还没到一半

    现在在看自己还能干什么 但是由于身份限制 选择面太窄太窄了

    现在希望work permit赶紧批下来 这样7月底就能在一个charter school工作了 就干四周 但是给钱还挺多。。28号快件寄到移民局 29号把我的340刀申请费收了 应该快了吧。。米国公立学校。。我的终极目标。。终于可以去参观一下了。。

    现在想去纽约

    现在想去尼亚加拉大瀑布

    现在想去西部打工

    现在想学开车

    现在想捡个孩子

    现在不想回家了。。。

    5/21/2009

    many thanks

     
    好吧 很久没写中文了 现在用英文因为只能让文字更窒息
    好吧 我决定解放自己了 撕掉自己贴上的保护膜 大吼一声 这没什么了不起!
    好吧 这注定是特殊的一天 因为我知道了真b和假b的区别
    好吧 我不是在写诗 但是我要感谢今天让我明白生活真的还在继续的你你你你你你。。。
     
    好吧 kimi同学隆重登场 感谢你听我唠叨了一晚上 bg一枚!--这个不算英文 米国人根本看不懂--原来说中文是这么地畅快淋漓!
     
    好吧 感谢那个在脸书把我屏蔽掉的人 婆婆妈妈的还得了 还是赶紧蒸发吧 我觉得我现在就可以解除屏蔽了 谁要搬家要帮忙的赶紧出声!
     
    好吧 感谢在地铁站 从我身后飞快跑过去 还帮我拦住地铁门的头发乱乱 扎蓝色头巾 住我家附近 说要来餐馆找我的小黑妹 当时我真的已经放弃 想等下一列车了 但是看到了唯一一扇还没关闭的门和那个坚定的身影。。小黑妹说 我跟你说了 我会帮你拦住的。。可我当时在听歌 没听见。。很多时候就在那么不经意间。。希望走了又来。。
     
    好吧 还要感谢早上出门时地铁站入口的小白叔叔 我低头说 我能要10个地铁片吗 他超热情地说 当然 为什么不。。忍不住抬起头 在他的笑容消失前。。这时候地铁又正好来了 我来不及打开地铁片的包装 小白叔叔放我过去 省了等下列车的时间 也省了个地铁片。。sure, why not? 小白叔叔如是说。。。
     
     
     
    5/17/2009

    is it over

     
    i think i posted this video before...but after all that happened and is happening...here's what i can say only...
    is it over...why everything turned out to be so damn hard...what the hell is going on right here...how long does it take before the brand new beginning comes to me...it looks like the most miserable time of mine ever...i know im gonna be fine..but i have to wait and compromises need to be made...I AM NOT GIVING UP! BE STRONG!
     
    so here's one of my miseries that i am trying to figure out...although it sounds cliche...how to prioritize things you want to do and things you need to do when there is a conflict...i really need to know!
     
    sorry if i shocked anyone...but the truth is i didnt become so miserable all of a sudden...it's been a while...
    wish me good luck and say "so long" to miseries!
     
       
    5/12/2009

    are pigs really that fat?

    ok...i know i've been boring and annoying to update so frequently...but i'm at work anyway..and the reason why i started thinking about it is because i thought those three pigs in my online farm were so atheletic...
    are pigs really that fat? why they are so fat? what's their body fat percentage?
    and so...a person about to get her master's degree is supposed to be able to conduct at least a little research...
    and so...so far i am done with my introduction and came up with three research questions..and my conclusion is...
    i am fatter than a normal pig! probably every female and half male are!
    seriously speaking i am a heathly female, aka, not fat, though sometimes people are being picky and blind and say something encourageing and at the same time discouraging to you, including myself. 总结成一句话。。瘦 无极限。。
    so..now...let stats speak themselves...
    according to a source, the average body fat percentage of a pig is 17%.
    here is a chart indicating different levels of body fat percentage of men and women of different age ranges
     

    Recommended Body Fat Levels for men and women:

    Males age range Too Little Healthy range Overweight Obese
    20-30yrs Below  8% 8 - 19% 19 - 25% over 25%
    31-40yrs Below  8% 8 - 19% 19 - 25% over 25%
    41-50yrs Below  11% 11 - 22% 22 - 27% over 27%
    51-60yrs Below  11% 11 - 22% 22 - 27% over 27%
    61-70yrs Below  13% 13 - 25% 35 - 30% over 30%
    71-80yrs Below  13% 13 - 25% 35 - 30% over 30%
    Females age range Too Little Healthy range Overweight Obese
    20-30yrs Below  21% 21 - 33% 33 - 39% over 39%
    31-40yrs Below  21% 21 - 33% 33 - 39% over 39%
    41-50yrs Below  23% 23 - 35% 35 - 40% over 40%
    51-60yrs Below  23% 23 - 35% 35 - 40% over 40%
    61-70yrs Below  24% 24 - 36% 36 - 42% over 42%
    71-80yrs Below  24% 24 - 36% 36 - 42% over 42%

    my analysis part...17%<21%...so in general..as it is said,,conventional wisdoms are always wrong..women are fatter than a healthy pig...

    now..limitations...the method of measurement is problematic... having a higher body fat percentage does not neccessarily equal to being fatter, especially when two species, here human and swine, are compared. and the source of pigs' body fat percentage might not be reliable. it is simply a figure the researcher found online. and three...three..well..i dont feel like having too many limitations for a study...so let's pass...fourth..there are might be gender difference among pigs as well..but the present study overlooks this possibility..

    finally..conclusion...pigs are skinny to some extent..they should be proud and raise up against all those existing slanders against them... 

    references

    1. http://www.weightlossforall.com/fat-percentage-ideal.htm

    2. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090324045955AADeboC

    5/10/2009

    the catcher in the rye

     
    for chrissake, i felt depressed as hell too when i was reading this book, though i dont look at this phony world the same way...but i did feel depressed and sorry..despite the witty language...and started to mind my own size mind..well..maybe we are all lost in some way, trying to find some attachment that can practically drag us back to the world which is not supposed to look like what it is now...
     
    language and language users empower each other..or it's probably triangular with readers involved...
    i think i will have to reread the book..
     
    here are some quotes i like from the book
     
    1. What I was really hanging around for, I was trying to feel some kind of a good-by.  I mean I've left schools and places I didn't even know I was leaving them.  I hate that.  I don't care if it's a sad good-by or a bad good-by, but when I leave a place I like to know I'm leaving it.  If you don't, you feel even worse. 
     
    2. I don't even know what I was running for - I guess I just felt like it. 
     
    3. I mean most girls are so dumb and all.  After you neck them for a while, you can really watch them losing their brains.  You take a girl when she really gets passionate, she just hasn't any brains. 
     
    4. If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late?  Nobody. 
     
    5. Don't ever tell anybody anything.  If you do, you start missing everybody.
     
    6. The more expensive a school is, the more crooks it has - I'm not kidding.
    7. All morons hate it when you call them a moron.
     
    8. Sensitive. That killed me. That guy Morrow was about as sensitive as a toilet seat. ---my personal fav
     
    9. People always clap for the wrong things.
     
    10. The thing is, it's really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than theirs - if yours are really good ones and theirs aren't. You think if they're intelligent and all, the other person, and have a good sense of humor, that they don't give a damn whose suitcases are better, but they do. They really do. It's one of the reasons why I roomed with a stupid bastard like Stradlater. At least his suitcases were as good as mine.
    11. Catholics are always trying to find out if you're Catholic.
     
    12. It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to.
     
    13. Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be.
    14. If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the 'Fuck you' signs in the world. It's impossible.

    15. ......

    5/9/2009

    lost in you

     
    six days went by..trying to forget her face...
     
     
    5/7/2009

    of mice and men

     
    themes..i would say great depression, dreams, loneliness and powerlessness...
    george, lennie, candy, crooks, and curley's wife are the representatives
    lennie wanted to have rabbits to pet..a dream so small like this only seemed too far to reach
    as the strongest man in the ranch, lennie was killed by his own strength all because of his dream he desired so bad
    reasons...social, economic and racial factors...
    look at people of today..what a resemblance..
    so where is our empowerment, where is our homestead? what is it behind dreams?